The Good Place: So Long, Farewell, Auf Weiderschen, Goodbye
by polybi
Summary: A Fanfic based on the NBC-TV series "The Good Place": Eleanor confesses that she was sent to the Good Place by mistake, and she has to go away. She has to also say goodbye the all the persons that she loved, including a certain Artificial Intelligence. Pretty much AU with some Season 1 spoilers. Unfortunately,there is currently no category for The Good Place.


_Some spoilers to "What We Owe To Each Other," with injections of the great erimthar's "Reboot." However it does happen later in the series, not-exactly canon._

 _This is my first "The Good Place" fic. Be kind._

 _The Good Place is created by Michael Schur, and is owned by Fremulon, 3 Arts Entertainment, and Universal Television/NBC. This is for fun, not profit._

* * *

 **The night before**.

It was inevitable.

Sinkholes had started to appear in the Good Place again. And the giant bugs. And everything else that appeared that first fateful night. Michael, who was the architect of this little afterlife village again offered to banish himself.

Eleanor Shellstrop had gone through this before. She was sent to the Good Place by mistake...she was not a good person. Not evil, just not that good. She was more deserving of the Bad Place, but she wanted to stay. In that vein she attempted to be something she could never be on earth...a good person.

Everyone in the Good Place is assigned a SoulMate, and Chidi Anagonye was Eleanor's. He was an ethics professor, and helped Eleanor and another resident Jason Mendoza, a DJ and part time drug dealer who, like Eleanor, was sent to The Good Place by mistake.

Tahani Al-Jamil was not sent by mistake. She was a truly good person. She was born of wealth, but no one understood her. She wanted to be her own person and not in her family's shadow. Even her house in the Good Place was too ostentatious. She'd rather have something like what was next door to her's...and sweet little euro-cottage...the one that housed Eleanor and Chidi. Jason was Tahani's SoulMate, but she stayed with him after she found out his secret. They remained good friends and occasional bed partners...Jason had a crush, but then so did everyone else in the Good Place.

In fact, Eleanor's polyamorous nature and budding kindness lead to close relationships with Chidi, Jason, and Tahani. There was one rather disastrous attempt between Eleanor and Michael, but since he reminded her of the father she never had, and she reminded him of the daughter he never had, it seemed like a pretty good idea to just remain friends.

And then, there was Janet.

Janet was a computer program, really. No acronym for anything, just Janet. She was the Alexa/Siri of the place. She knew everything, she was totally confidential with everyone, including Eleanor. Call her name and she popped up and would give you anything you needed, from information to a hoodie.

And on one day, when Eleanor called Janet out to find a partner for nocturnal gymnastics (sex was allowed in the Good Place), and when no partners were found, Janet offered, shall one say, her services.

It was magic.

It was the best Eleanor ever had on any plane of existence. And after Janet eventually found her way back on line (apparently Eleanor was that good, as well), the A.I. cheerfully announced that her circuits were refreshed, her thought processes were clear...and she was in love with Eleanor Shellstrop.

To which Eleanor's mouth hung open just long enough for a naked Janet (who hid her massive charms very well in that 80's blue dress of her's) kissed her human lover one more time before clothes magically reconnected with Janet's body.

And it was like that for what earth people would call a year. Eleanor was getting closer to her friend, including sexually except for Michael. And through Eleanor, they all found a way to get out of their shells. It was, for Eleanor, heaven.

But the one day it went to hell quick. The bad dream that had come to life the night that Eleanor arrived had spring up again, only this time it was worse. And once again, Michael took it up on himself to take the blame. It was time for Michael to place himself into exile again.

This time Eleanor could not let that happen. Michael and the people she had grown to love had done so much. She was not perfect, but because of them, she was a better spirit than she was coming in. She could not allow Michael to do this to himself.

So she confessed. She confessed to Michael, with Janet in attendance, that she was the cause of all that had happened. That there was a mistake, that the wrong Eleanor was sent to the Good Place, and that she did not deserve being there.

After some verification, it was found that she was right, that she was not someone who qualified for the Good Place. And that she would be required to go to the Other Place.

But Michael's bosses were a rather kind lot, all things considered, and they allowed Eleanor a week to say her goodbyes. Then, on that final day, at a place of her choosing, Eleanor would be sent to a peaceful sleep where she would wake up in her new, eternal hell.

And she could choose anyone of the 300+ people that lived in that village to be with her on that final night. There was no question who those people would be.

So gathered at the Good Place train depot were the people she held dearest to her heart. The only way out of the village was by train and the only person who could run that train was Janet. All that had to happen was for Eleanor to board the train, and be transported to the other place. But she did have a chance to say goodbye.

First, she said goodbye to Michael. The tightness of that hug showed that he was the closest thing to a father Eleanor ever had in this or the other life, and that she may never have again. Jason was next. The pretense the DJ had of being a Buddhist monk taking a vow of chastity and silence. Jason showed that Eleanor was not alone a flawed one. In fact, Eleanor was right when she said that everyone in the Good Place had a flaw. Jason was a good friend, and the kiss Eleanor gave him was proof of that.

Tears were already streaming down Tahani's face when Eleanor turned to her. The Indo-Brit mentioned that there was no time for her to create a going away party for the blonde. "Don't worry, I know it would have been awesome." Then, Tahahi playfully touched Eleanor's button nose, the way she had done many times before, in the beginning annoyingly, then progressing to something more intimate. "Boop." Tahani tried to keep her emotions in check as she went through her part of the routine one last time. Eleanor smirked, but her own face was stained with tears: "It's goodbye...I deserve more than just a boop..." And then she took her hands to bring Tahani's face to hers and gave her a deep deep kiss. Then their faces parted.

"I love you Eleanor."

"I love you Boopsie."

Then there was Chidi. This one hurt.

There were no words at all. Of all of the former humans there, Chidi was the one she loved the most. He was the one who dealt with all of Eleanor's shit, but he was the one most responsible for her transformation. And in turn, somehow, Eleanor taught Chidi that common sense can be both moral and complicated. They were there for each other every step of the way. And though she was going to the Bad Place, it felt like a graduation. Theirs was the deepest kiss of all, and when it was over, eyes wet with tears, the just smiled to each other. That said everything.

There was one more goodbye, but that had to wait after she boarded the train. Eleanor faced Janet. That ever-present smile of her's. Chipper to the end. It was one of the things that annoyed Eleanor to the core...and one of the things that endeared her to her heart.

Then they boarded.

* * *

There was no luggage. Eleanor's wardrobe would be waiting for her at the end of this ride. Just take a seat, and that would be that.

But before taking Eleanor took her seat, Janet wanted to tell her a few things. First, Eleanor would be given a vial. It contained a solution that, once consumed, would gently put her to sleep. When she woke up, she would be on the start of her new journey. Second, Janet would be with her the entire time...no one should be going to the Bad Place alone. Eleanor gave a small smile, then she asked a favor.

"Janet...would you...one last time..?"

Janet was always the intuitive program...so intuitive it almost seemed that she was human. The taller brunette gently held Eleanor's face, bend down slightly, and kissed her gently, deeply. A last kiss should be like this. Eleanor knew that if an artificial intelligence could love, Janet could. And she knew that, somehow, Janet did.

Lips and faces separated just in time to hear an "all aboard" call from someone who sounded a lot like Janet.

And to Eleanor's surprise...it was...or at _least anothe_ r Janet...but this one wore a train conductor's uniform...and was just as cheerful as the original Janet. "We're taking off!" said conductor Janet in that impossibly cheery voice that Eleanor found both exasperating and amazing. Both gave mutual thumbs-up, then conductor Janet disappeared behind a curtain, leaving Eleanor and the original Janet seated together next to a window in an otherwise empty train car.

After a few minutes the train left the station. The ride was rather pleasant and quiet, Eleanor looking out the window at a rapidly passing pastoral setting, or looking at Janet...the blonde wanted to remember the brunette...A.I. or not...because she was convinced that she would never see her again.

It was a half hour when Eleanor told Janet she was ready. Janet pulled out the vial, handed it to Eleanor, who looked at the vial, then looked at Janet, then kissed the brunette a final time. When Eleanor removed her face from Janet's, she noticed the brunette's face was wet from water that came from her eyes.

"I love you Eleanor." The blonde smiled and looked Janet in her eyes as she slowly drank the contents of the vial.

Janet moved the armrest between them up and motioned Eleanor to put her head on the AI's lap. Then Janet started to sing...

 _Is it a kind of a dream..._

 _Floating out on the tide..._

 _Following the river of death downstream..._

 _Oh is it a dream...?_

Janet knew everything, including the fact that Watership Down was one of Eleanor's favorite movies when she was little. She watched every showing on HBO, even just before she was killed. Eleanor kissed the dress that covered Janet's leg, as a thank-you. The drug was starting to work...

 _There's a fog along the horizon_

 _A strange glow in the sky_

 _And nobody seems to know where it goes_

 _And what does it mean?_

 _Oh is it a dream?_

Sleep was coming, gently but inevitably. The sound of Janet's voice singing her favorite song. She could hear the A.I's voice quiver. She could tell when something was an act, and it wasn't an act. Janet was crying. And Eleanor felt guilty about it. But as darkness descended and hearing faded, she knew one thing...whatever she would wake up to she would be at peace. Such was the power of Janet...

 _Bright eyes, burning like fire_

 _Bright eyes, how can you close and fail?_

The power of what those words meant suddenly hit Janet like a million power surges. She was losing Eleanor. She was lost in the land of nod, and she would never see the bright eyes of Eleanor Shellstrop again.

 _How can the light that burned so brightly,_

 _Suddenly burn so pale...?_

Janet tried, but she could not get the last line of "Bright Eyes" out. The crying was heavy now. The A.I. cursed the fates for this. Yes she came in as the amoral person by mistake, but she was getting better. Better because she was surrounded by Michael's fatherly love, the friendship and passion of Chidi and Tahani, and even Jason. And whatever Janet did to help.

And all of this happened because she did the one act of unselfishness, confessing that she was in the Good Place by mistake, giving up, essentially, her life to save Michael, Chidi, and the others. If Eleanor Shellstrop was still on earth, that one act would have been worth over a million positive points...

And then it hit her. Like an atomic bomb it hit Janet. Her eyes went wide. She was still crying, but the smile forming was not that of a helper but that of someone experiencing total ecstasy. She screamed for Conductor Janet, suddenly appeared in the aisle next to the pair. "Turn this train around?"

"Janet, I do not understand..."

"We are turning around...we're going back...and Eleanor's coming back with us!" The demeanor of Original Janet was that of a kid who just found the dollar in the morning when the fallen out tooth was.

"Right-o!" Conductor Janet, like all the other Janets, was cheerful to a fault. Conductor saluted Original, then Conductor Janet disappeared back to the engine room. That left Original Janet and the sleeping Eleanor alone.

"Everything will be fine...my love." Janet continued to stroke Eleanor Shellstrap's hair and whispered that she loved the blonde... And as she felt the train stop, then start to move in reverse, Janet knew that...if she was right...everything would be alright, indeed.

 **TBC**

 _The song Bright Eyes was written by Art Garfunkel for the 1977 movie Watership Down. This is a bit of AU, and I have never done a TGP fanfic before. Let me know what you think._


End file.
